Speak Softly
by Commander
Summary: Mr. Crocker wants to capture a fairy! How do Castle Uhsmith and Terri Turner fit into this? And who is Charlotte Roosevelt, anyway, and what's her story?
1. Da First Chapter

(AN: It's meeeeeeeeee! (groans) Yeah, I know. Here's an episodic, little-plot story that again will have chapters… I'll work it out as I go! For now, here's a short intro chapter. Thanks to all the people who reviewed my other stories, and to the 16 (WOW!) people who have me on their fav authors list! And special thanks go to Fairy1234, because, if it weren't for her request, this story would be very boring with no plot. But no! Now it's very boring with no plot but with ROMANCE! (does a dance) I don't own Fairly Oddparents or any of its characters, but I do own Terri Turner, Castle Uhsmith, and… well, I'll just let you find out her name!)  
  
Terri Turner groaned as she ate her Cheerios, a sad, depressed look plastered on her face. Her mother gave her a weird look. "What's wrong, Terri?" she asked.  
  
The six-year-old girl shrugged. "You know what's wrong, Mom! Summer's over and I have to go back to school."  
  
Terri's seventeen-year-old brother, Tim, walked down the stairs, frowning as well. "At least you're just going to first grade," he muttered. "I've got to start my senior year."  
  
Now, all you FOP fans know Tim, who was called Timmy when he was younger, of course. He hadn't changed too much either, he had just gotten taller, and his pink shirt and hat were replaced with red ones. He still had his messy hair and buckteeth, however.  
  
Terri looked quite a bit like her older brother, with the same color brown hair and blue eyes. Her hair was also rather unkempt, but longer, and she didn't have her brother's bucktooth. She was wearing a sport jersey and jeans because, unlike her brother, she was very sporty. She was a tomboy, and proud of it.  
  
"Are you about done?" Tim asked Terri. "We'd probably better leave soon."  
  
Terri wolfed down her Cheerios and pushed the bowl away. "Okay, I'm done now. Bye, Mom!" she said.  
  
"Yeah, see you later, Mom," said Tim, walking out the door with Terri.  
  
"Bye kids!" said Mrs. Turner. "Beware the monkey!"  
  
Tim and Terri stared at their mom. "What?" Tim finally asked.  
  
"I don't think we'll be seeing a monkey, Mom," said Terri.  
  
"But if you do, beware!" said Mrs. Turner, grinning.  
  
"Right, we'll keep that in mind," said Tim, ushering Terri out the door, as if he feared for her safety.  
  
"Jeez, Mom's weird," muttered Terri.  
  
"You just noticed it?" asked Tim in shock. "Although she's nothing compared to--"  
  
"Hey kids, guess what?" cried their father, Mr. Turner, popping out from nowhere with a huge rocket ship behind him. Ignoring his children's dropped jaws, he said happily, "I broke into both your college funds to buy this rocket!"  
  
"…why?" Terri asked, pulling her jaw back up.  
  
"Because the Dinkleburgs have one!" he said. His smile turned into a scowl. "Dinkleburg…"  
  
"Uh, Dad? Return the rocket. See you," said Tim, pulling Terri away.  
  
"Why didn't you talk him out of it?" asked Terri.  
  
"I think Mom will," said Tim. "Besides, you're going to be late. And I need to go to school too after I take you!"  
  
"I can go by myself!" said Terri, frowning at Tim. "And I won't be by myself, anyway. Castle's gonna meet me."  
  
"Well… I told Cassie's parents that I'd make sure she got to school safely," said Tim hesitatingly.  
  
"I'll do it for you! Then you can go to school by yourself. The school's just one block away, anyway."  
  
"Oh, alright," said Tim. He stated to walk off. "Is Cassie going to meet you here?"  
  
"Yep!" said Terri. "Have a good first day, Timmy!"  
  
"Please don't call me that," said Tim, rolling his eyes. "And you have a good first day too."  
  
Tim turned around the corner, looked to make sure no one was watching, and knelt down to talk to three bunnies. One was pink with pink eyes, one was green with green eyes, and the smallest was white with silver eyes.  
  
"Terri doesn't want me to go with her, so you and Terri will just walk to school by yourselves, okay, Cassie?" Tim asked the white rabbit.  
  
The green one gasped. "By THEMSELVES? But it's so far! What if something happens to them?"  
  
"It's only one block away, Cosmo," said the pink rabbit with a sigh. "I think they'll be fine."  
  
"But Wanda! You never know!" cried Cosmo. "I don't want ANYTHING to happen to Castle—"  
  
"Don't worry, nothing will!" said Castle sweetly. She smiled, and looked like some sort of rabbit-angel. "Now could one of you turn me into a human please?"  
  
"But I don't think you're READY for a full day of school yet!" Cosmo objected. "Can't you take kindergarten again?"  
  
Wanda sighed again, waved her wand, and Castle turned into a little girl. Her white hair was pulled into two pigtails, and she wore pink overalls with a white shirt. Wanda turned herself and Cosmo into fairies, their real form, to give their daughter a hug.  
  
"Have a good day, dumpling!" said Wanda, hugging her daughter.  
  
Cosmo looked about ready to cry. "My baby's about to go to first grade! I don't think I'm ready for this!"  
  
Wanda waved her wand and cheese appeared in front of Cosmo. "Ooooh, cheese!" he cried happily. "I'm better now!"  
  
"That reminds me," said Wanda. She waved her wand again. A bookbag appeared on Castle's back, and a lunch box in her hand.  
  
"What's in the lunchbox?" asked Castle.  
  
"A ham and cheese sandwich, Cheez-Its, cheddar popcorn, and a hunk of swiss cheese."  
  
"And to drink?"  
  
"Melted cheese," said Wanda, sighing a bit at her daughter's odd taste in food.  
  
"Okay, thanks!" Castle hugged Tim, Cosmo, and Wanda, and ran around the corner to where Terri was waiting.  
  
"Hi Castle!" said Terri. "Are you ready to walk the one block to school?"  
  
"You bet!" said Castle. The girls walked off to school.  
  
Some of you are probably yelling, "Commander! How do Castle and Terri know each other?" Well, for those of you who are, I shall answer the question. And for those of you who aren't, I shall answer the question anyway! When Terri and Castle were just babies, Timmy often got stuck babysitting both of them. Either that, or he felt obligated to, to make sure Vicky didn't torture them. To make things easier on him, Cosmo and Wanda temporarily took away Castle's wings and made her look like a (semi) normal human being. The two babies enjoyed each other's company, and grew to be close friends.  
  
As the two girls walked into school, chatting and laughing about who knows what, they were unaware that they were being watched. Being watched by… dun dun dun! Mr. Crocker!  
  
"Hmm, Turner's sister, huh? I wonder if she has FAIRY GOD PARENTS!" cried Crocker. "And that other girl, the strange looking one whom I have caught glimpses of from her kindergarten class last year, I wonder if she has FAIRY GOD PARENTS as well? Too bad I teach fifth grade and won't be able to watch them for signs of FAIRY GOD PARENTS!" After the third FAIRY GOD PARENTS! Crocker fell off his chair and onto the floor. "Owie!" he cried.  
  
***  
  
A woman walked past the elementary school, smiling a bit as she saw the children laughing. Terri and Castle almost ran into her, quickly said the obligatory "Sorry"s and "Excuse me"s and ran off to their other friends. The woman smiled at them, then suddenly felt her lip quiver and her eyes water. "Don't even think about it, Charlotte," she muttered to herself, walking away towards the library, where she worked.  
  
"Good morning, Miss Roosevelt," said one of her coworkers as Charlotte walked in. Seeing the look on her face, though, quieted her coworker a bit. "Thinking about Ashley?" she asked.  
  
Charlotte nodded and sat down at the computer. "But I'd rather not talk about it."  
  
"Sure thing," said her coworker. "We've got a lot of checked in books to be put away, do you want to do that?"  
  
Charlotte nodded, grateful for anything to take her mind off her troubles.  
  
(AN: Sorry that sucked. My writing computer which is in the guest bedroom completely died on me, which means I have to type this on the main computer, which is downstairs where everyone is walking through and where my brother keeps nagging me for the computer every five minutes. Anyway… stay tooned for chapter 2! And if anyone can think of a title, that would help me a lot. My second titleless fic…) 


	2. Da Second Chapter

((sighs) I was writing this chapter, and on a roll, too, but I had to leave, and so I got out of it and I DIDN'T SAVE CHANGES!!!!!!! I'm writing the same thing twice now, and I'm really upset. I'm also in a really depressed mood, so I'm really sorry if it shows in my fic. And I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, or if I'm obnoxious. I don't know if I have, but I feel like I have. But enough feeling sorry for myself! This story will now be even more random than before, because I had a completely weird idea hit me and… well, you'll see! I still own nothing except for Terri, Castle, Charlotte, and… like I said, you'll see!)  
  
"The system of equations is 4x+2y=16 and 13x-y=12, would anyone like to write their answer on the board? Tim, are you listening?"  
  
Tim wasn't really listening. He was trying to calm his pencil (Cosmo) down. "Uh, may I go to the bathroom? I've got diarrhea and-"  
  
"Go!" said his teacher, pointing towards the door.  
  
Tim grabbed Cosmo and his eraser (Wanda) and ran off to the boys' bathroom. He went inside, checked to make sure no one was in there, and locked himself in a stall.  
  
"Timmy, this is a boys' bathroom!" cried Wanda as she and Cosmo turned into fairies. "Are you sure I can be in here?"  
  
"I don't think anyone will really care. And don't call me Timmy," Tim said, rolling his eyes. "Cosmo? Why are you freaking out like you are?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Timmy! I can't help it!" moaned Cosmo. "I just keep thinking about Castle at the school all alone… what if something happens to her? I promised her I'd never let anything bad happen to her-"  
  
"She's not alone," said Tim. "Lots of kids go to that school. Including my sister, who is her best friend."  
  
"Besides," said Wanda, "Castle is six years old. She needs to learn how to be an independent, capable fairy godmother!"  
  
"But…" Cosmo's lower lip quivered.  
  
"Aaw, Wanda, he's doing the lower lip thing," said Tim. "Why don't we just let him go?"  
  
"But he'll blow our secret!" cried Wanda.  
  
"No I won't!"  
  
"If he stays here and continues to be as anxious as he is, then he probably will anyway," pointed out Tim.  
  
Wanda sighed in resignation. "Alright. But Cosmo, once you're done checking on her-and make sure you're disguised as some sort of animal!-go STRAIGHT back to the fishbowl, do you hear?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am!" said Cosmo happily, and with a poof he was gone.  
  
"I just know he's gonna do something stupid," muttered Tim.  
  
Wanda groaned. "Ditto."  
  
***  
  
The elementary school cafeteria buzzed with the jabber of the students. Off in their own, safe little corner, the first graders were eating their lunches.  
  
"I don't know why I feel this way," said Terri. "I just feel like my parents don't really care about me. I mean, if they did, wouldn't they fix me a sack lunch instead of forcing me to eat this cruddy cafeteria food?" She picked some up with her fork and grimaced.  
  
"Do you want some cheese?" Castle held out her hunk of cheese. Terri shook her head politely. "Oh well, more for me," said Castle, taking a big bite out of it and gulping it down with some melted cheese.  
  
A teacher yelled over the noise of the students, "Time for recess!"   
  
All the kids jumped up and went to go outside. Terri got up and looked at Castle. "Are you coming, Cas?"  
  
"I wanna finish this hunk of cheese," said Castle. "I'll meet you out there."  
  
Terri shrugged and followed the rest of the kids outside.  
  
Last year, Terri had usually gone and played ball with the other kids during recess. But today, she just slumped against the wall of the school and sighed. "My parents don't care about me," she moaned. "They care more about Timmy. And Timmy always hogs the computer and the TV… and he's got friends, and my only real friend is Castle…" She threw her arms up in despair. "I'm so depressed!"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, in Fairy World…  
  
Jorgen von Strangle, toughest fairy in the universe, was busy doing what he was usually doing-lifting weights. Just then his little messenger fairy came in.  
  
"Uh, sir? We've just had another report of an unhappy child come in-"  
  
"Well, put it with the rest!" cried Jorgen. "You do realize that the waiting list of unhappy children takes up almost two file cabinets!"  
  
"But sir, this one's different! It's Timmy Turner's sister!"  
  
"Hmm, that does make a difference," admitted Jorgen, grabbing his wand staff and poofing… uh, I mean blasting, his weights away. "Turner was one of our most unhappy reports in recent years. And with all the trouble he and his bumbling fairies manage to get into, I'm sure his sister is unhappy as well! Do we have any available fairies for the job?"  
  
"Well, there is…" The fairy stopped. "No, not really."  
  
"There is WHO?" bellowed Jorgen.   
  
The fairy trembled. "Well, sir, we just have a new fairy who showed up, who was missing for more than two thousand years. She doesn't have training, but she isn't really doing anything-"  
  
"Bring her in here!" bellowed Jorgen. "She will be Turner's godmother!"  
  
"Yes sir!" said the fairy, poofing off. Moments later, he and another fairy poofed back in. This new fairy had semi-long brown hair pulled into a half ponytail, colorless gray eyes, and glasses. She wore a red shirt with a wavy seam and sleeves, baggy jeans, and large beige shoes that looked a lot like very small hiking boots.  
  
"You!" said Jorgen, pointing at her. "You are going to be Terri Turner's godmother!"  
  
"What?" cried the new fairy. "I don't have godparent training! Besides, I hate kids. I'm no good with them!"  
  
"Well then, LEARN!" boomed Jorgen. The fairy shut her mouth, but gave him a defiant look.   
  
Jorgen's messenger assistant type fairy poofed up a book. "I'll need your name, please, so we can get you into our records."  
  
"My name's Katie," said the fairy.  
  
The messenger fairy looked at the crown floating above Katie's head. "How did you get that crown?"  
  
"When Jorgen was lifting weights once, he accidentally dropped them and they were about to come crashing down on some poor, week fairy. I pushed him out of the way, and of course, didn't get hit myself. Do you know how much Jorgen's weights are? That was one of his bigger ones, and I heard that a small one fell off of a shelf once and killed someone!"  
  
"That was bad carpentry on the shelf," said Jorgen sheepishly.  
  
"And why were you missing for more than two thousand years?" the fairy asked.  
  
"I have social anxiety disorder, hate people as a whole, although I like individual people, and was bored and wanted to see how humans lived," she said with a shrug. "I couldn't stand being around all these fairies, so I sometimes disguised myself as a human. Usually as different animals, though. Like I said, I hate people."  
  
"Enough of the questions!" cried Jorgen. He pointed his huge wand staff at Katie. "You, puny fairy, go to your godchild NOW!"  
  
BOOM! Katie was blasted off.  
  
***  
  
After Terri had yelled that she was depressed, something really weird happened. Everything around her suddenly stopped. Kids leaping in the air, teachers yelling at the kids, Principal Waxelplax getting caught in another one of Crocker's fairy traps, the leaves rustling in the wind, everything. Stopped.  
  
"What the…" whispered Terri, slowly standing up.  
  
A brown rabbit with colorless gray eyes and glasses suddenly hopped out from behind the tree. As this was the only movement besides Terri, Terri screamed a bit when she saw it. "What the heck is going on here?" Terri cried to the rabbit, because, although it was silly, the rabbit was the only one who could hear her.  
  
The rabbit pulled out a black stick with a yellow star on it, waved it into the air, and POOF! She was suddenly… a fairy!  
  
"I'm Katie! And I'm your social anxiety disorder, obsessed with presidents, FAIRY GODMOTHER!"  
  
"Holy cow!" cried Terri. "…You're obsessed with presidents? What a loser!"  
  
"This relationship is off to a wonderful start," muttered Katie. "This is why I hate kids."  
  
"I'm hallucinating," muttered Terri (AN: She's only six, and she knows that word? She's pretty smart!). "It must've been something in the cafeteria food. I KNEW there was something wrong with that food!"  
  
"You're not hallucinating, watch!" said Katie. And with a wave of her wand, Terri was suddenly taller than the school!  
  
"WHOA!" cried Terri. "Hey, I could crush the school now!"  
  
"You might not want to, though," said Katie. "There's people in there, you know. Don't be killing innocent people."  
  
"So… you're my fairy godmother?" asked Terri as Katie poofed her back to normal size. "What does that mean?"  
  
"It means that I grant anything you wish for, as long as it isn't against Da Rules."  
  
"There's rules?" asked Terri.  
  
"Lots," said Katie. "Da Rules" appeared above them and fell to the ground with a thud. Katie opened it to the first page. "And the number one rule is you can never let anyone know that you have a fairy godparents! Or else I go away forever and you lose all memory of me!"  
  
"Jeez, that's harsh," muttered Terri. "What are the other rules?"  
  
"Well get to them later," said Katie. She looked at Terri's sporty attire. "You're a… tomboy? I mean, you like sports?"  
  
"They're my life!" said Terri.  
  
"Great," muttered Katie. "Sports are one thing that I don't go for."  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't exactly go for presidents myself," Terri snapped back.  
  
Katie looked defensive, but then decided to let it go. "So, I guess I'd better poof all this back to normal and poof myself into a little mouse that you found and want to take home as a pet."  
  
"Uh… okay," said Terri with a shrug.  
  
"That's the ticket!" said Katie. She waved her wand and suddenly Terri was back leaning against the wall, everything was moving again, and a small brown mouse was clasped in her hands.  
  
Castle walked out of the building, licking her fingertips. "Mmm, that was good cheese!" she said. She looked at Katie. "Oooh! You found a pet mouse?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I guess," said Terri.  
  
Katie discreetly looked at Castle. She had heard about Castle, of course, even though she had only just returned to Fairy World. It was somehow refreshing that fairies were finally regenerating again. Katie was, after all, one of the youngest fairies, even though she was a fully-grown adult at three thousand and one years old.  
  
A bunch of older kids were all gathered around something in the sport field. Castle jumped up and down, trying to see. "What is it?" she asked.  
  
Terri caught a glimpse of it. "It's… a green rabbit!"  
  
Castle's face fell. "Oh no," she moaned.  
  
***  
  
Charlotte sat at home that afternoon, because she was lucky and only had to work mornings. Since the author is a moron and forgot to describe her last chapter, she will now! Charlotte had short blonde hair and large brown eyes. There. Now ya know.  
  
Charlotte was rather strong-willed, and often voiced her opinion. She had a lot in common with her great-great grandfather, the great Theodore Roosevelt. (AN: Yes, I AM obsessed with presidents.) Although certain memories often caused her a great deal of pain…  
  
She thought of her marriage-which hadn't worked out at all. When their daughter Ashley was two years old, they divorced, and Charlotte took back her maiden name. Ashley Roosevelt stayed with her mother most of the time. But about a year ago, when Ashley was five years old…  
  
***  
  
"Come on, Ashley, we're going to be late!" cried Charlotte, pushing Ashley into the car.  
  
"But Mommy!" objected Ashley.  
  
"We're late already, in fact! Buckle your seat belt!" Charlotte turned on the car and drove off to wherever it was they were going. It didn't matter. They never got there.  
  
In Charlotte's hurry, she failed to stop at a stop sign. And there was traffic. Heavy traffic.  
  
Hours later, Charlotte woke up in the hospital. "What happened?" she asked groggily.  
  
"You were in a car accident," said a nurse.  
  
"Oh my God!" cried Charlotte, sitting straight up. "Where's Ashley? Where's my daughter?"  
  
"By the time we got to the scene, it was too late," the nurse said simply.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Charlotte sat down the sandwich she had been eating, tears filling her eyes.  
  
(AN: Chapter two is done! Isn't this random? I promise that this will all tie together-uh, I think. I'm kinda making up this story as I go along. Oh yeah, Katie the fairy might look and act just like me minus the wings, wand, and crown, and she might have the same name, but she is NOT the fairy version of me. What gave you that silly idea?… This isn't working. Yes, Katie is indeed the fairy version of me. That was my crazy idea-the fairy version of me should be Terri's godmother!  
  
And just a few stuff: If you wanna see a pic of Katie the fairy... http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/3628286/  
  
And if you wanna see Castle... http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/3613764/  
  
And Terri... http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/4034291/ ...okay, I'm done now. See you at Chapter Three!) 


	3. Da Third Chapter

(AN: Sooooo sorry for not updating sooner. My life has been busier than I ever thought it would be lately! I'm almost busting with ideas for this story, but I don't know where to begin! Thus, I have writers' block! But I did think of a title, which alludes to Charlotte Roosevelt. You know her great-great grandfather's saying, "Speak softly but carry a big stick…" Anyway, here's chapter three! Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! (gives all her reviewers hugs) That firehose really woke me up, I must say…)  
  
Castle pushed her way through the crowd of older kids, trying to make her way to that very familiar looking green rabbit. "What do you want?" sneered a third grader.  
  
"I want… to calm it down!" said Castle hastily, finally reaching her father and picking him up in her arms. "He's just a poor, defenseless rabbit and you're all being mean and scaring him!"   
  
"What are you going to do with it?" Terri asked, who had managed to find her way to the front of the crowd.  
  
Castle gave her father a reprimanding look, and Cosmo shrunk sheepishly in her arms. "I'm going to let him go," Castle said. "Nobody follow me, you'll scare the bunny again." Castle walked across the street and around the corner behind a house, where no one could see her.  
  
"Daddy!" she hissed. "What are you doing?"  
  
Cosmo poofed into fairy form. "I had to check up on you!"  
  
"But you might blow our secret!"  
  
"But what if you were in trouble?"  
  
"How could I be in danger at school?" asked Castle. "Besides, I can take care of myself."  
  
Cosmo suddenly grabbed Castle and hugged her tightly. "But you're my daughter, my only daughter whom I love so very much, and when you were just a little baby I promised to protect you--"  
  
"Daddy, I'm no weakling!" said Castle, but she laughed and hugged Cosmo back. "I love you too, Daddy, but you really have to go. People will get suspicious of me if a green rabbit follows me all day."  
  
"Well… okay…" said Cosmo dejectedly.  
  
"Go home to the castle," said Castle (wow, redundant!). "I'll be there after school. See you later!" Castle turned around and went back towards the school.  
  
Terri--and Katie--were waiting for her. "What took you so long?" Terri asked.  
  
"I, uh… was looking for a carrot to give him," stammered Castle. "But he's gone now."  
  
"Or not," muttered Terri, looking past Castle. Castle turned around and saw Cosmo, as a rabbit again, slowly hopping up.  
  
"I TOLD you to leave!" said Castle to Cosmo, trying to giggle as if she were talking to someone who couldn't answer her back.  
  
"I think he likes you," said Terri with a smile. "Why don't you take him home and ask your parents if you can keep him? You know, as a pet."  
  
Castle barked out loudly with laughter, imagining THAT scene--"Mommy, can I keep Daddy as a pet?" Terri stared at her. Castle collected herself. "Oh sorry, I just… well, he's GREEN!"  
  
Cosmo looked hurt. "Not that there's anything wrong with green," Castle quickly added.  
  
"Maybe he ate too much broccoli," suggested Terri. "But anyway, he's obviously not leaving. You might as well keep him. I mean, I'm keeping this mouse," she added, pointing to Katie.  
  
"Well… for a little bit," Castle finally said slowly. Cosmo grinned and twitched his nose.  
  
One of the teachers yelled that it was time to come in, and all the students rushed in the building.  
  
Mr. Crocker watched Terri and Castle. "Hmm, Turner seems to have found herself a mouse. I wonder if that mouse is actually her FAIRY GODPARENT! And Uhsmith has… a green rabbit? Rabbit's aren't normally green. There can be only one explanation… Uhsmith has a FAIRY GODPARENT!"  
  
On this last FAIRY GODPARENT! Crocker happened to be right next to the trash cans, and when he had his seizure like twitch, he ran into the trash cans and…  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" cried Crocker, being heard quite clearly over the crash and bang of the cans.  
  
***  
  
As the class settled back down, Castle raised her hand. "Yes, Castle?" asked her teacher.  
  
"May I go to the bathroom?" asked Castle.  
  
"Why didn't you go during recess?" said her teacher with a sigh.  
  
"I didn't have to till now!" cried Castle. She let out a pitiful moan. "And it can't wait…"  
  
"Alright, go, but come straight back!" said Castle's teacher. Castle, still holding Cosmo, ran to the girls' bathroom, locked the stall, and glared at her father.   
  
"I'm not leaving till you poof back home," she said, her arms folded across her chest.  
  
Cosmo tried to object. "But--"  
  
"No buts. I can stay in here all day. You need to go NOW. If you really care about me, you'll go so people don't suspect that I'm actually a fairy!"  
  
"Fine…" moaned Cosmo.  
  
"Now. Lift up your wand and poof back home!"  
  
Cosmo sadly grabbed his wand from somewhere on his rabbit self… and suddenly stopped. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"  
  
"Daddy, I'm six years old. I'm not a baby anymore!"  
  
"But… but you're my baby girl!" said Cosmo, his lip quivering.   
  
Castle continued to glare, but then softened. "I'll see you in three hours, anyway. I'll be fine, I promise. Now just GO."  
  
With a sad POOF, Cosmo was gone. Castle walked out of the bathroom… and right there in the hallway was Mr. Crocker.  
  
"UHSMITH! Where's that FAIRY GODP-I mean green rabbit that you had?"  
  
Castle winced. She KNEW that her dad would blow it! "I let him go," she stammered.  
  
"Hm, well, you shouldn't have let that rabbit in school anyway! There's a strict 'No green rabbits in school' rule!" said Crocker with a rather evil grin. "So you have an hour's detention after school today!"  
  
"But… but I didn't know about that rule!" cried Castle.  
  
"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, Miss Uhsmith! See you after school!" With that, Crocker went off, chuckling evilly and saying something about a "new world order".  
  
Castle trudged back into class and sat down gloomily. "What's the matter, Cas?" Terri asked.  
  
"Crocker gave me a detention after school today," muttered Castle.  
  
"Crocker?" asked Terri in shock. "He's not even your teacher! Timmy's told me some weird stuff about that guy--"  
  
"I've heard it," said Castle. "Could you tell Timmy to tell my parents that I'll be late coming home?"  
  
"Sure thing," said Terri, turning back to the teacher, who was giving a lesson.  
  
***  
  
Castle sat in Crocker's classroom at 3:30 that afternoon, looking sadly out the window. Crocker got right to the point. "So, Uhsmith, tell me about your FAIRY GODPARENTS!"  
  
"I don't have fairy godparents," said Castle with a sigh. "I know that's why you're keeping me, but I swear that I don't. Can I go home?"  
  
"Explain that green rabbit, then!" cried Crocker.  
  
"Uh… he ate too much broccoli? You know how rabbits like their vegetables."  
  
Crocker grabbed Castle's bookbag. "I'd better search this!" he cried, dumping it over and examining the contents that fell out. A few broken pencils and a piece of American cheese, still in its wrapper, was all that came out. (It was the first day of school, you know--she didn't exactly have much time to accumulate much in her bookbag.)  
  
"No fairy godparents in there," said Castle. "Can I go now?"  
  
Crocker picked up the cheese. "You like cheese, don't you, Miss Uhsmith?"  
  
Castle nodded, a little confused.  
  
"In fact, as I understand, you had nothing but cheese and various cheese products for lunch today." Crocker looked at Castle. "And no normal child has hair that white or eyes that silver…" Crocker suddenly gasped in realization. "You don't have a FAIRY GODPARENT, you're a FAIRY yourself! Which means…"  
  
Crocker reached behind his desk and pulled out that scepter thing from Abra-Catasrophe that he kept Wanda in and laughed. "It means that I can harness YOUR fairy energy to create my NEW WORLD ORDER! HEH HEH, HEH HEHEHEHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"  
  
Castle shrieked and ran out of the door, with Crocker right behind her…  
  
***  
  
Tim, with Wanda disguised as a bird flying next to him, waited by the door of his house for Terri and Castle. He was surprised when only Terri came up. "Hey, Ter, how was school? And where's Cassie?"  
  
"School was okay," said Terri. "And Castle had to stay after school, she told me to tell you that."  
  
"Cassie had to stay after school?" Tim repeated. "What did she do?"  
  
Terri shrugged. "I dunno. She didn't tell me. All I know is that Crocker's the one that gave her the detention."  
  
Wanda and Tim gasped. Terri stared at them. "Did that bird gasp?" she asked.  
  
"Uh… it's a mimicking bird, it does whatever I do," said Tim quickly. "Are you serious? CROCKER?"  
  
"Yeah," said Terri. "Poor Cas. I've heard all those stories you've told me of him." Terri grabbed Katie and showed her to Tim. "I god a pet mouse!"  
  
"That's nice," said Tim offhandedly, hardly noticing Katie. "I've gotta go inside." He ran inside, Wanda right behind him  
  
"Cosmo!" cried Tim and Wanda as they burst in the room.  
  
Cosmo swam lazily out of the fish bowl castle. "What?" he yawned.  
  
"Crocker's got Castle!" they both yelled. Cosmo immediately leaped out of the fishbowl and poofed into his fairy self.  
  
"WHAT? I KNEW I couldn't leave Castle all alone at school! She's captured, and it's ALL MY FAULT!" gasped Cosmo between huge sobs.  
  
Wanda turned into her fairy form too and tried to calm Cosmo. "It might not be that serious, dear…"  
  
"But what if Crocker realizes that she's a fairy?" cried Tim. "Although maybe he won't. He might just THINK that she has fairy god--"  
  
Tim stopped short. Wanda looked at Tim. "What is it?" she asked.  
  
"Terri's mouse," said Tim quietly. "Did you see it?"  
  
"Not all that well, why?" asked Wanda.  
  
"It had a crown," said Tim. He looked at Cosmo and Wanda. "Turn into fish. I'm going to see Terri and I'm brining you too with me."  
  
***  
  
"I wonder why Tim was so upset?" asked Terri.  
  
Katie, still as a mouse, shrugged. "This Crocker guy's a psycho teacher?"  
  
There was a knock at the door. Terri put her finger to her lips to silence Katie and said, "Come in!"  
  
Tim came in, holding his goldfish bowl with his two goldfish in it. "Why did you bring your fish in?" Terri asked.  
  
"Terri, I know that you have a fairy godparent," said Tim.  
  
Terri gasped, but tried to stop herself. "…What do you m-mean that I have a fairy godparent?" Seeing the look on Tim's face, she groaned in sadness. "Why did you have to find out, Timmy? I only had her for one day! HOW did you find out?"  
  
"It was the crown," said Tim quietly. "It's the same crown that my fish wear."  
  
Terri stared at Cosmo and Wanda. "You don't mean…"  
  
"Yes," said Tim, "I've got fairy godparents, too."  
  
Katie poofed into fairy form. "I was hoping you two would figure it out," said Katie. "It's so much easier that way."  
  
"There's a really big problem," said Tim. "Crocker knows about fairy godparents. And if Castle has to stay after school with him, she could be in big trouble."  
  
"Why?" asked Terri. "Does Castle have fairy godparents too?"  
  
Tim shook his head. "No… she IS a fairy."  
  
On cue, Cosmo and Wanda poofed into their fairy selves. Terri gasped. She had met Castle's parents before, but she had always assumed they were… human!  
  
"You're Castle's parents?" cried Terri. "And Castle's a… fairy?"  
  
"See why this is a problem?" said Tim. He looked at Katie. "And who are you, anyway?"  
  
"I'm Katie, I'm a loner, and I don't talk much. And I'm obsessed with presidents. But aren't you going to get a plan formulated?"  
  
"Well, yeah… how did you know that?"  
  
Katie grinned. "The author of this story is one of my personas."  
  
"Don't tell them that!" hissed Commander.  
  
"Ashamed of me, are you?" Katie asked with a grin. "I did create you, you know."  
  
"Anyway though, Katie's right," said Wanda. "Let's get a plan!"  
  
(AN: Long chapter! Ha, I'm really into writing this now! Charlotte will feature prominently in the next chapter. I know she's not in this one, but don't worry, she's about to become a maaajor character! See you at chapter four, and have a Merry Christmas if I don't see you till after then!) 


	4. Da Fourth Chapter

(AN: I am soooooooooooo sorry for not updating sooner! It's the same old story--too busy, writer's block, haven't felt inspired. But now I am. Guess what really inspired me to write more in this? My 2 volume DVD program on Theodore Roosevelt! Which reminded me of Charlotte, which made me want to write this chapter that she'll actually be in! Here it is!)  
  
Castle ran as fast as she could--and since she had flying power even without her wings, that was pretty fast--straight into the park. And plowed headfirst into Charlotte Roosevelt, who was taking a walk.  
  
"Hey, kid, what's the hurry?" Charlotte asked.  
  
"HIDE ME!" screeched Castle. "And FAST!"  
  
Charlotte didn't know why Castle wanted to be hid, but she didn't ask--she pushed Castle under the merry-go-round. "I'll cover for you," Charlotte whispered, and then quickly stood up as if nothing had happened.  
  
Crocker ran into the park next, holding his fairy scepter thing and spinning his head around frantically. "Where did that FAIRY go?" he asked. He looked at Charlotte. "Have you seen a FAIRY run through here?"  
  
Charlotte was, of course, very confused (wouldn't you be?) but tried to keep her cool and laughed. "Sorry, haven't seen any fairies. Mainly because they don't exist--"  
  
"FAIRIES DO EXIST!" hollered Crocker. Charlotte backed away from him.  
  
"Uh… whatever." Charlotte was now starting to feel as if this guy had serious mental issues and didn't blame the little girl from running away from him. "But I haven't seen anyone with wings."  
  
"Don't you get it, foolish woman?" cried Crocker. "FAIRY GODPARENTS have magic and can hide their wings! And no normal child has white hair or silver eyes or eats a lot of cheese or befriends green rabbits! Castle Uhsmith is a FAIRY and her parents are FAIRY GODPARENTS--OUCH!"   
  
Crocker had fallen on the merry-go-round and caused it to turn a bit, which also hurt Castle. Castle winced and tried not to make any noise.  
  
Charlotte grabbed Crocker by the collar and lifted him up in the air. Crocker's eyes popped in surprise of the forceful woman. "I haven't seen anyone with white hair come by. Now, I suggest that you go find some psychiatric help."  
  
Crocker continued to stare. And then, surprisingly, a look of resignation started to creep over his face, and would've completely covered it if he hadn't heard Castle sneeze at that very moment.  
  
"AHA!" Crocker zipped out of Charlotte's grasp and snatched Castle from underneath the merry-go-round. "I HAVE YOU NOW, LITTLE FAIRY!"  
  
"Let me go!" cried Castle.  
  
"You freak!" yelled Charlotte, trying to pull Castle away from Crocker. "Let the poor girl go!"  
  
"NEVER!" cried Crocker. He opened up the orb thing on his scepter thing and dropped Castle into it. Castle winced, as Crocker evilly pointed the scepter to a tree, announced. "This tree shall now become… A SHRIMP PUFF!"…and nothing happened.  
  
No one said anything for awhile. Charlotte looked a mixture of shocked, confused, and appalled, Crocker looked dumbfounded and furious, and Castle looked relieved, but also confused. Why hadn't her fairy magic created a shrimp puff? It didn't make sense. Still, she managed to say, shakily, "Th-there. I'm not a fairy. Now could you let me go?"  
  
"My mistake," growled Crocker quickly, releasing Castle.   
  
Charlotte now looked positively disgusted. "You chased a little girl around the town just because you wanted to use her 'magic' to make a SHRIMP PUFF?"  
  
"Of course not!" cried Crocker. "The shrimp puff was only a test! I wanted to harness her FAIRY energy to became supreme dictator of a new world order!"  
  
Exasperated, Charlotte rolled her eyes, and she and Castle were about to walk away when a new voice suddenly said, "What's this I hear about 'supreme dictator of a new world order'?"  
  
Charlotte, Castle, and Crocker (I ought to just call them "the three C's") stared at this new guy who appeared out of nowhere. He was bald and wore a suit. Basically, he looked like some sort of typical evil villain type of guy.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Charlotte. "You look like some sort of typical evil villain type of guy!"  
  
(What did I tell you…)  
  
"I said that," said Crocker, smiling smugly. "Someday I'm going to be supreme ruler of a perfect world--MINE!"  
  
"That's what I thought." With that, the evil villain guy handcuffed the three C's behind their backs, tied their feet together (guess he ran out of handcuffs), and threw them in a cage which, like him, seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"Nice going," growled Charlotte as evil guy threw the cage in his evil van. "What's your name, anyway? Commander Doofus?"  
  
"You rang?" asked the author.  
  
"Actually, it's Supreme Overlord Crocker!"  
  
"Denzel Crocker to you," said Castle. "My name's Castle Uhsmith. What's yours?"  
  
"Castle Uhsmith?" asked Charlotte. "That's an unusual name. I like it." She sighed. "Well, since we're obviously going to spend the rest of our lives together rotting in some prison cell, we might as well know our names. I'm Charlotte Roosevelt."  
  
"Roosevelt?" asked Crocker. "Are you related to FDR?"  
  
"Distantly," said Charlotte. "He's my fifth cousin… a couple of times removed. I never got this distant cousin stuff."  
  
"That's cool that you're related to a president, even if it's distant," said Castle.  
  
"Actually, closer than that," said Charlotte, actually smiling. "My great-great grandfather was Theodore Roosevelt."  
  
"I should've known!" cried Crocker. "With your personality and all! And FDR and TR were fifth cousins!"  
  
"You don't mean what you said though, do you Ms. Roosevelt?" Castle asked. "I mean, about rotting in a cell?"  
  
"Nah, we'll find a way out," said Charlotte, a confident spark shining in her brown eyes.  
  
"We can hope…" said Castle, her voice trailing off.  
  
***  
  
"Alright, here's my plan," said Tim. "We go to the school, and—"  
  
"They're not at the school," interrupted Katie.  
  
Tim stared at her. "Why do you say that?"  
  
"The author is one of my personas, you know," Katie reminded them.  
  
"Stop bringing that up," moaned Commander. "I cannot believe that I was created by such a dork."  
  
"So you mean that they're somewhere else?" Wanda asked.  
  
Katie nodded. "Crocker lost it and revealed his plan to Castle. Castle fled, and hid in the park, where a woman named Charlotte Roosevelt--who happens to be the direct descendent of my favorite president!--covered her tracks for her, and almost had Crocker fooled. But Crocker found Castle, and tried to use her fairy energy to make a shrimp puff, but for some reason, it didn't work."  
  
"Why not?" asked Terri. "Isn't she a fairy?"  
  
"I know why," said Wanda. "Castle's only six. She doesn't have much magic in her. The most Crocker could do with her magic is maybe make a few sparks."  
  
"Crackers," moaned Cosmo sadly, still kicking himself for leaving his little girl.  
  
"Crocker let Castle go," continued Katie, "and she and Charlotte were about to leave, when some evil villain type guy tied them up, threw them in a cage, and took them to his evil lair."  
  
"WHAT?" cried Cosmo.  
  
"Where is this evil lair?" asked Tim. "Do you know?"  
  
"Of course," said Katie. "It's--uh… it's…"  
  
Tim gave Katie a blank stare. "You don't know, do you?"  
  
"No! In fact, I don't even know what I just told you! What's happening?" cried Katie, looking off into the nowhereness of author land.  
  
"I blocked your knowledge of the plot," said Commander, with an obvious ring to her voice. "I couldn't let you know everything! It would be too easy!"  
  
"I hate her," muttered Katie.  
  
"And she's your alter-ego?" asked Terri.  
  
"Well, we're going to have to find it ourselves, then," said Tim. "Use clues, and all. But we can't have three fairies with us. Cosmo, Wanda, and Katie, you're going to have to disguise yourselves."  
  
"I have an idea," said Wanda. "I'll turn all of us into birds so we can do an aerial search. Once we find this evil lair, we can all become mice or ants or something so we can slip in unnoticed."  
  
"What evil lair?" asked Katie, sounding confused.  
  
(AN: Dun dun dun… Hope you enjoyed it! See you next chapter!) 


	5. Da Fifth Chapter

(AN: (flops onto keyboard and starts sobbing uncontrollably) I'm sooooooo sorry for not updating soon, my wonderful reviewers! It's same old, same old--too busy, writer's block, all that. Also, ff.net is depressing me lately--too many flamers, and I hardly know any of the new writers, and I'm too lazy to get to know them. But I am updating now because I am EXTREMELY happy! Mainly for two really really great things that happened to me--1. Butch Hartman (or someone claiming to be him, hee hee) left me a very very good review on "A Fish Called Wanda" and 2. I've been recommended for some youth leadership training in Washington DC and I'd get to meet the president! And you all know how obsessed I am with presidents. Sooooo… Gaah, I don't deserve to be this happy! Anyway… I own nothing except my original characters… thanks for not suing me, Butch. (laughs and continues with her long-delayed story))  
  
The people all bustling around Dimsdale hardly noticed a youngish looking bespectacled woman with her long messy brown hair pulled into a sloppy half ponytail, wearing a flared sleeved T-shirt and baggy pants. She was, of course, Katie, but she was disguised as a human. She looked in control of herself, for the most part, unlike Cosmo and Wanda.  
  
"I can never quite get the hang of this walking thing," exclaimed Wanda, tripping and falling over on top of a mailbox.  
  
"It's not that difficult," said Katie, trying to hold back her laughter.  
  
"But I'll tell you what IS difficult," cried Tim. "How the heck are we supposed to find Castle if we have no clues as to where she went?"  
  
"Isn't that a clue?" asked Terri, pointing to a bright red line painted on the road (right where the evil guy's van had gone, in fact) that had a huge sign by it that said, "CASTLE WENT THIS WAY!"  
  
"That could be a clue," said Cosmo thoughtfully.  
  
"That was easy enough," said Wanda. "Although I can't quite figure out why. Commander, what did you do that for?"  
  
"Well," said Commander, sounding sheepish, "I couldn't make it too easy but I couldn't make it too difficult either."  
  
"Do you understand her?" Terri asked Katie.  
  
Katie shook her head, looking exasperated. "No. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I created her."  
  
"We should follow this line," said Wanda, desperately trying to get back on track. "And it would be quicker if we were all birds." With a wave of her wand, the five humans disappeared and five birds took their place--one with pink feathers and eyes, one with green feathers and eyes, two with brown feathers and blue eyes, and one with brown feathers, gray eyes, and glasses.  
  
"Well, we certainly look non-conspicuous," said Tim sarcastically. "But anyway--FOLLOW THAT LINE!"  
  
***  
  
The still unamed evil guy… we'll call him Henry… had reached his headquarters in a secret place of which I cannot disclose, and now had Castle, Charlotte, and Crocker in his throne room type thing. (He obviously either thought he was supreme ruler of the universe, or wanted to be.) He sat down in his chair and inspected the three, while his guards kept their guns, axes, clubs, spears, really really big sticks, chainsaws, pickaxes, or whatever weapon they could find aimed straight towards their heads, ready to fire (or hit, or whatever) if they even tried to escape. Finally Henry spoke.  
  
"Take the two adults to the dungeons and lock them up. They are of little use to me. Just make sure they don't cause any trouble."  
  
All but one of the guards rudely pushed Crocker and Charlotte towards the door. Charlotte looked absolutely furious, but Crocker just looked impressed and slightly jealous of the evilness of Henry's lair.  
  
Only one guard was left with Castle, and his weapon was a mere butter knife. Castle rolled her eyes.  
  
"Random evil guy," she said to Henry, "I don't really think a butter knife is going to keep me from escaping."  
  
But before she could even take one step towards the door, Henry suddenly grabbed her in a tight death grip. Castle gulped.  
  
"What do you want with me?" the young girl asked helplessly. "I don't want to be supreme ruler like Crocker. I…I just wanna go home to my mommy and daddy."  
  
"Well, little girl, I don't think you'll be seeing your mommy and daddy for quite some time," hissed Henry. Castle, terrified, attempted to shrink back.  
  
"You think that I captured you three just because I heard that 'Crocker' or whoever saying that he wanted to be supreme ruler?" Henry laughed. "It's amusing, how little you know, Castle Leslie Uhsmith."  
  
Castle looked confused. "How… how do you know my name?"  
  
Henry grinned at her evilly. "I know all about you, Castle."  
  
Castle gulped.  
  
"I know how much you love cheese. I know that your best friend is Terri Turner, and you're better at jumping rope than her, but she's better at one-on-one basketball than you are. I know that a week ago you were riding your bike too fast, fell, and scrapped your knee, and cried for ten minutes straight."  
  
"It was nine minutes," said Castle, still sounding terrified. "But it really really hurt…"  
  
"And I know about your…parents," hissed Henry. Castle gasped. "I can see both of them in you, you know," continued Henry, grinning evilly. "You've got your mother's courage. Any other little girl your age would've probably fainted by now, due to my greatly evil presence. And you're fairly smart…although you lack common sense, just like your father."  
  
Castle winced. "Why did you find all this out?" she whispered.  
  
"You've got a lot of energy harnessed in you, you little fairy," said Henry. Castle felt tears spring up in her eyes, knowing now for sure that he knew her secret. "More than you or anyone else knows. I've been looking for someone like you for YEARS. There was a prophecy made, you see, thousands of years ago. The prophecy said that one day, a fairy would be born with powers far beyond anything this world had ever seen. And it said she would have hair white as snow and eyes silver as…"  
  
"Silver?" offered Castle.  
  
"Oh yes, silver," said Henry. "Anyway, I've been looking for that fairy for years. I feared that she had either already been born and died, or that she would be born after I died. But I finally found you--and not in Fairy World, as I was expecting. That's why it took me six years. But finally, finally I can harness your energy to help me rule the world!"  
  
"It won't work," said Castle, finding her voice and trying to sound sure of herself. "Crocker already tried it. It didn't work."  
  
"He doesn't know how to harness your energy," said Henry, laughing rudely. "He knows as much about fairies as the author of this story knows about sports teams, or that I know about being a nice guy."  
  
"That's not much," whimpered Castle.  
  
"He was too SOFT on you," laughed Henry.  
  
Castle gasped. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"  
  
Henry shook his head, looking surprised. "Of course not, dear little Castle. I can't use your magic if you're dead! Now then--" Henry dragged Castle to the wall, where there was a chain hanging off of it. He clasped it tightly on Castle's wrist. "You can just stay here."  
  
Castle looked a little confused. "Why don't you just use my magic now? Why are you waiting? Not that I don't mind, of course…"  
  
"Well," said Henry, looking a tad bit sheepish, "my machine which will make the maximum use of your powers isn't quite working yet."  
  
"Which gives my mommy and daddy enough time to rescue me!" said Castle happily.  
  
"I doubt it," said Henry, smiling a terrible, evil smile. "This place is so secret, no one knows where it is!"  
  
Of course, as he said that, five "birds" were hovering above his lair right then, formulating a plan on how to get in…  
  
(AN: End of that chapter. Why? Because I have writer's block again! Gaaaaah, this story is about fifty times worse than A Fish Called Wanda… I wonder if I'll ever be able to write like that again. Oh well. See you at chapter 6, mis amigos!) 


	6. Da Sixth Chapter

(AN: I would make excuses as to not updating in forever, but they're the same as last time. (grins sheepishly) Despite my terrible writer's block, I shall continue… here is chapter 6!)  
  
"Quick!" cried Charlotte. "Is there any crowbars, lead pipes, sticks, or anything else I could possibly use to pry this cage door open?"  
  
Crocker rolled his eyes. "There's NOTHING in here! That evil guy might be a complete idiot, but he isn't going to give us that obvious of an escape!"  
  
Charlotte flopped down against the wall. "Look, Crocker, I'm not content to just rot in here for the rest of my pitiful life!"  
  
"And you think I am?" cried Crocker. "Roosevelt, there's FAIRY GODPARENTS out there just waiting to be captured by me!" He broke into his evil laughter but Charlotte cut him off.  
  
"Please, call me Charlotte." She sighed. "If we're going to spend the rest of our lives here, we might as well be a little less formal."  
  
"Alright… Charlotte… as long as you call me Denzel!" said Crocker.  
  
"Done," said Charlotte. "So, Denzel, do you have any ideas as to how to get outta here?"  
  
Crocker thought for a moment. Finally, he said, "Are there any crowbars or anything we could use to pry the door open?"  
  
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "We already discussed that, if you'll remember. …God I wanna get outta here! Who does that random evil guy think he is, anyway? And what on earth does he want Castle for?"  
  
"Maybe he wants to harness her FAIRY energy to become supreme ruler of the universe! IT WAS MY IDEA FIRST!"  
  
Again, Charlotte rolled her eyes. "You're crazy. Seriously. Fairies don't exist! Castle is just a little human girl! And if you don't believe me, you saw it yourself when you tried to 'harness her fairy energy'. She HAD NONE!"  
  
Crocker stared at Charlotte defiantly, then slumped against the wall as well. Charlotte started to mumble to herself, "Now, if I had two small sticks, I could rub them together, make a fire, and heat the lock so we get outta here… what do I have to work with… nothing, huh? Well, that sets me back a little…"  
  
Crocker snorted. "Why don't YOU give it up?" he asked.  
  
Charlotte stared at him. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"There's obviously no way to get out of here!" cried Crocker, his arms flailing in the air. "So stop trying to think of one!"  
  
"If there is one, I'll think of it," said Charlotte. She turned her back to him, obviously trying to think without any distractions. Crocker, in return, turned his back to her. The two sat cross-legged, facing the walls, in deep thought.  
  
After a few minutes of silence Charlotte finally spoke. "It's too quiet," she said. "I can't concentrate."  
  
"Well, what do you think we should do about it?" asked Crocker sarcastically.  
  
Charlotte was quiet for a moment. "This is working," she finally said.  
  
"What is?"  
  
"Us talking. If we just talk about something--anything--then maybe we'll say something that'll trigger an idea as to how to get out of here."  
  
Crocker actually seemed pleased with the idea. "Alright! I'm going to tell you about what I'll do as the supreme ruler of the universe!"  
  
"Hopefully submit yourself to a mental institution," muttered Charlotte.  
  
Crocker had had it. "Look Charlotte! If you've suffered as much from the imbeciles that infest our planet as I have, then maybe you'd want to be their ruler and PUNISH them as much as I do! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEHEHEHEHHAAAHHAAAA!"  
  
His laughter died away. Charlotte gave Crocker a very serious look. "What do you mean, suffered?"  
  
"I've suffered from people like YOU, who mock my ideas as a load of bull!"  
  
Charlotte sighed. "I'm sorry," she said slowly, thinking every word through before she said it. "It's not… necessarily your fairy obsession that I get annoyed at. It's that crazed way you talk about them. If you think fairies exist, that's fine with me, but if you're trying to tell someone it, don't lose your control."  
  
Crocker looked as if he had just seen the light, with eyes wide with wonder. "Do you really think people will believe me if I… calm down?"  
  
"Not necessarily," said Charlotte quickly. "They'd just be more willing to listen, I think." She shuffled her feet out from under her and stretched them out. "I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but not everyone in the world is going to agree with everything you say."  
  
"…True…" Crocker hated to admit to Charlotte that she was right, but the way she had said it, he couldn't help it. Charlotte knew how to argue, that's for sure.  
  
There was silence for awhile.  
  
Finally Charlotte asked, "So you've always been mocked for your theories, huh? And it's really ruined your life?"  
  
"Ruined it?" cried Crocker. He turned completely around, so he and Charlotte were now facing each other. "Their mocking lost me the respect of all my family and colleagues! It even lost me my one true love-who is now the principal and I don't love her as much as I used to--"  
  
"Love isn't everything it's cracked up to be," muttered Charlotte darkly.  
  
Crocker looked at Charlotte in surprise. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," muttered Charlotte. "Just that I married a complete deadbeat, and I was too 'in love' to realize how smarmy he was."  
  
"I didn't know you were married," said Crocker.  
  
"I'm not, not anymore," said Charlotte. "I divorced him, and took back my maiden name. I'd much rather be a Roosevelt than a… I can't even stand to say his name. I even changed Ashley's last name to Roose--" Charlotte's voice broke off suddenly.  
  
"Who's Ashley? Your daughter?" asked Crocker.  
  
Charlotte nodded, unable to speak.  
  
"I didn't know you have a child."  
  
Chralotte gulped down her tears. "Not anymore. She… she was killed."  
  
"Oh," said Crocker suddenly. Then, with great effort on his part, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Well don't be," said Charlotte gruffly. "It's not your fault."  
  
There was silence again.  
  
Charlotte's shaky voice broke it. "So what makes you think that fairies exist anyway?"  
  
Crocker was unusually quiet. Finally he said, "I… well, I know what it was. I suddenly noticed I was holding this little piece of machinery that said 'Fairy godparents exist' on the back. It seemed to be some sort of fairy detector. But… that was all the proof I had, and even though it seemed to show fairies, it was always something else. Someone probably just gave it to me as a practical joke… but fairies have been my whole passion this whole time! I wanted to be supreme ruler, and I needed fairies for that!"  
  
Charlotte couldn't help but smile to herself. He might be crazy, but he seemed to be coming to his senses, at least a little. "So it's all because of a little piece of machinery. How does it work, anyway?"  
  
"Well, it--here, let me show you." Crocker reached into his pocket and pulled out his fairy detector.  
  
Charlotte gasped. "You mean, all this time you had that with you?"  
  
"Of course!" said Crocker. "You never know when you might see a FAIRY!"  
  
Charlotte grabbed it from him. "Denzel," she said, her voice dripping with excitement, "this could just get us out of here!"  
  
Crocker looked utterly confused. "But how?"  
  
Charlotte ripped the back off the gadget. Crocker gasped in shock and anger.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FAIRY DETECTOR?"  
  
"Oh, be quiet. You wouldn't even be able to use it anyway if we never got out of here. Besides, you said it yourself that it was probably just some joke someone pulled on you." Charlotte rummaged through all the microchips and other assorted parts. "If this is any type of detector, though, it's gotta have a laser. And that can get us outta here!" She pulled out something that looked like a tiny laser pointer. "There!"  
  
Crocker watched as Charlotte pointed the tiny laser at the lock. Nothing was happening. "You're crazy!" he cried.  
  
"No, you are," replied Charlotte. "In just about five seconds it should happen. Three, two, one--"  
  
The lock fell off with a clang. Charlotte pushed the cell door open smugly. "That was a little trick I learned in my community college general science class." She grinned. "Told ya I'd find a way outta here if there was one."  
  
Charlotte walked out of the cell, dragging Crocker with her. "Let's go this way," she said, turning to the left. Crocker stood dumbly watching her.  
  
The way she had done that! She's intelligent! Crocker's thoughts swarmed in his head. And she's witty, and she's been through a lot more than I have, and she hasn't let that get her down… and she's beautiful…  
  
Crocker's jaw dropped as he suddenly felt a feeling blossom up inside of him, a feeling he hadn't felt in years. A feeling that made him floaty, drifty, confused, and giddy.  
  
He was in love!  
  
(AN: Romantic time! Now this story's getting interestin'. So hopefully I'll update soon. (That's what I said last time…) See you later!) 


	7. Da Seventh Chapter

(AN: I soooooo do not feel like updating this story, but I am anyway! (throws confetti))  
  
Crocker dashed through the dungeon hallway, yelling, "Charlotte! CHARLOTTE!"  
  
"What is it, Denzel?" asked Charlotte in exasperation, turning around. Crocker grabbed her so tightly that both of them fell to the ground.  
  
"I LOVE YOU!" he yelled.  
  
Charlotte blinked.  
  
"Uh, I mean…" Crocker searched for words. "Uh… I love you… a lot?"  
  
"Whoa, hold the phone!" cried Charlotte.  
  
Crocker pulled out his cell phone.  
  
"You love me? But you just met me!" cried Charlotte. "I thought you hated me, and now suddenly you love me?" Charlotte scratched her head.  
  
"Do you love me back?" asked Crocker, with the eagerness of a puppy.  
  
"How am I supposed to know?" yelled Charlotte. "I just met you!"  
  
"Poopy," said Crocker, pouting a bit.  
  
"Look," muttered Charlotte, "let's just go get Castle and get out of here, okay?"  
  
"Fine," said Crocker. "Then I can use her as proof of FAIRY GOD--Errrk!"  
  
Charlotte grabbed Crocker by the shirt collar and led him out of the dungeons.  
  
***  
  
Tim and Terri, now humans, and Cosmo, Wanda, and Katie, now looking like humans, stood in front of the door at the evil lair. Tim tugged at the door. "It's locked," he said. "How are we supposed to get in?"  
  
Cosmo, Wanda, and Katie held up their wands, with a "no duh" look on their faces.  
  
"Oh, right," said Tim, sounding a bit embarrassed.  
  
"Cool!" cried Cosmo. "For once I was smarter than Timmy!"  
  
Tim groaned. "Don't call me Timmy, please! It's Tim!"  
  
"I wish we were inside!" cried Terri suddenly. With a wave of Katie's wand, the five were standing inside the evil lair.  
  
"Well, that was simple," muttered Tim. The fairies put their wands out of sight, and just in time too, for at that moment Crocker and Charlotte rounded the corner.  
  
"TURNER!" cried Crocker.  
  
"Crocker!" gasped Tim.  
  
"Hey, I remember you!" cried Terri, pointing at Charlotte. "I ran into you, remember?"  
  
Katie gasped. "It's Charlotte Roosevelt! The direct descendant of one of the greatest men who ever lived!"  
  
"Flattered," muttered Charlotte. "Who are you guys and what are you doing here?"  
  
Tim spoke up before anyone else could. "These--" he pointed to Cosmo and Wanda "--are Castle Uhsmith's parents, Cosmo and Wanda Uhsmith. This--" he pointed to Terri "--is my little sister Terri Turner, who is Cassie's best friend. And, uh…" He looked urgently at Katie.  
  
"I'm Terri's babysitter," said Katie quickly. "I just started, that's why Tim doesn't know me all that well. My name's Katie."  
  
"And I'm Tim, Tim Turner," Tim said, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead.  
  
Charlotte stared at Katie. "How did you know who I am?"  
  
Katie shrugged. "I'm a Fairly Oddparents version of the author of this story. I know everything."  
  
"Coughcough--YEAH RIGHT--coughcough," chortled Commander.  
  
"So you're all here to rescue Castle," said Charlotte. "Good, I'm not sure how well Denzel and I could have done on our own. Does anyone have any plans?"  
  
Everyone was silent. Finally, Cosmo raised his hand.  
  
"Take Castle and run?" he asked.  
  
"Hmm… very simple," said Charlotte, deep in thought. "That random evil guy won't be expecting it. Sounds good to me. Do all of you approve?"  
  
"Oh yeah, sure," everyone murmured in agreement, nodding their heads.  
  
"Alright." A dangerous blaze shone in Charlotte's eyes. "Let's do this!"  
  
The seven of them burst into the main throne room thing. "Freeze, scum!" cried Charlotte.  
  
Henry looked annoyed. "Can't you come back in, like, twenty minutes? This machine will be working by then."  
  
"Oh, thank goodness you guys came!" cried Castle, who was chained to the wall. "It was getting really boring in here."  
  
Wanda glared at Henry. "Let our daughter go, you…"  
  
"NEVER!" cried Henry. "I need to harness her fairy energy!"  
  
"I KNEW IT!" cried Crocker, pointing to Castle in a crazed way. "She's a FAIRY!"  
  
"Oh no, not someone else who believes in fairies," muttered Henry. He pulled out a handgun. "Looks like I'll have to eliminate you." He aimed at Crocker and pulled the trigger.  
  
Charlotte suddenly pushed Crocker out of the way and staggered. Everyone gasped.  
  
"Oh, you sick animal," Katie finally growled. She grabbed some loose rope and very quickly tied him up in a helpless bundle.  
  
"Well, that was simple," muttered Terri.  
  
"CHARLOTTE!" cried Crocker, grabbing Charlotte, who still hadn't fallen. "Speak to me!"  
  
"Let go of me, you idiot," muttered Charlotte. "I'm fine." She pointed to her right breast pocket, where the bullet hole was. "I had my little hand-held mirror and a folded up speech for a speech I was going to make at the library today. It slowed the bullet down. I think it's in me, and it does hurt, but I know for a fact that I'm not gonna die from this."  
  
"Wow, that's just how Theodore Roosevelt avoided dying from a bullet being shot in his chest!" cried Katie. "Except that it was a glasses case and a re-election speech…"  
  
Terri rolled her eyes. "Like great-great-grandfather, like great-great-granddaughter."  
  
Tim handed Charlotte a handkerchief, which she held to her breast. "Alright Denzel, yes."  
  
Crocker looked confused. "Yes what?"  
  
Charlotte couldn't hide a small smile creeping up on her face. "When you asked me if I loved you, remember? I guess the answer must be yes, if I'm willing to take a bullet for you."  
  
"YIPPEE!" cried Crocker, jumping in the air. "Will you marry me?"  
  
"Well, that's a different--"  
  
"We can stop at the court of law before we have supper--"  
  
"What? Marry you TODAY?" gasped Charlotte. "Now, Denzel, getting married is a huge commitment which we shouldn't rush!" She thought for a moment. "How about tomorrow?"  
  
"Goodie!" cried Crocker. "I don't know if I can wait that long though…"  
  
During all the…uh… "mushy-ness", Cosmo and Wanda had been able to discretely pull their wands out and release Castle. Castle ran up and hugged her parents. "I knew you would come and get me!" she said happily.  
  
"He didn't hurt you, did he, sweetie?" asked Wanda, stroking her daughter's hair in a concerned manner.  
  
"No, he just scared me a little," said Castle.  
  
"As scary as moldy cheese?" asked Cosmo.  
  
"No, Daddy, even SCARIER!" cried Castle. "But speaking of cheese, I'm hungry. Can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich when we get home, Mommy?"  
  
"Sure thing, dumpling," said Wanda. The Uhsmiths walked back to where all the hubbub was.  
  
"You're invited to our wedding!" cried Crocker, pointing at Tim and Terri. "And you!" he said, pointing at Cosmo, Wanda, and Castle. "And--" he looked at Katie. "I don't even know who you are, but you're invited too!"  
  
"Joy, a social situation," muttered Katie. "We all know how much I love those."  
  
***  
  
Nine months later…  
  
"You know," muttered Charlotte Roosevelt Crocker, sitting on the couch in her new home, "if someone had told me the morning of the day we met that nine months from now I'd be about ready to give birth, I would've laughed in his face."  
  
"Uh… FAIRY GODPARENTS!" cried Crocker, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Whatever," said Charlotte. "Look, our son is going to be born any day now, and we still don't know what to call him!"  
  
"I still say Denzel Jr.," said Crocker with a shrug.  
  
"We can't do that," said Charlotte, shaking her head. "There's already a fan character named that." She thought for a moment. "How about Theodore? We could call him Theodore Denzel Crocker. Do you like it?"  
  
Crocker shrugged. "It's fine with me. FAIRIES!"  
  
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Why do you always have to say that?"  
  
"It's a part of who I am! Don't worry though, I have accepted the fact that that Uhsmith girl is not a fairy as I previously thought."  
  
"Good to hear." Charlotte suddenly winced. "Denzel, I think little Theodore is ready to come out!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
***  
  
At the hospital…  
  
The doctors--and Crocker--crowded around Charlotte. "Hold on, Mrs. Crocker, this is going to be rough."  
  
"I've given birth before, you know," muttered Charlotte.  
  
"Oh," said the doctor, sounding embarrassed. "So… do you know what this one will be?"  
  
"My doctor said it was a little boy," said Charlotte. "Aaaaarrggh!"  
  
"It's coming out!" cried Crocker.  
  
"I KNOW THAT!" screamed Charlotte.  
  
Crocker suddenly decided that he didn't want to see this. He turned his face away, trying to ignore the painful cries of Charlotte. Finally, he heard a baby cry.  
  
"Ooh! Let me see!" he cried, running towards them.  
  
"Congratulations, it's a girl!" said one of the doctors.  
  
Charlotte and Crocker blinked. "A GIRL?"  
  
"That doctor was pretty messed up," muttered Charlotte. "How could anyone confuse a girl for a boy?"  
  
"Poopy!" sulked Crocker, sitting down on a chair. "I wanted a boy!"  
  
"And what's wrong with girls, might I ask?" growled Charlotte.  
  
"Nothing!" cried Crocker.  
  
"Here, she's cleaned off a bit," said a doctor, handing the baby to Charlotte. "You can hold her for a minute or two before we go and weigh her."  
  
Charlotte held her baby, who was still crying, but who stopped long enough to reveal that, unlike most babies, her eyes were dark brown. Just like her mothers. She also had a little crop of black hair on the top of her head.  
  
"So, what should we call her?" asked Charlotte to Denzel.  
  
"Uh… Theodora Denzela Crocker?"  
  
"Nah," said Charlotte. "How about… Margaret Roosevelt Crocker?"  
  
"Whatever you want," said Crocker with a shrug.  
  
No one noticed that Tim, Terri, Katie, Cosmo, Wanda, and Castle, as birds, were peeking in the window. "How adorable!" cried Castle.  
  
"I never wanna watch someone giving birth again," said Terri, sticking out her tongue.  
  
Tim rolled his eyes. "Commander, this has to be the STUPIDEST story you've ever written!"  
  
"I know," said Commander sheepishly. "That's why I ended it so quickly!"  
  
"This is the end?" asked Wanda, sounding confused.  
  
"No," said Cosmo, "this is!"  
  
THE END  
  
"Go home, everybody," muttered Katie, flying away.  
  
(AN: Yes… you can tell that I didn't really want to write this, since I finished it! But there we go, it's over. Go away! Oh yeah, thanks to everyone who reviewed this pointless story.) 


End file.
